I grew up in a jungle on the Big Island of Hawaii. At various points in my childhood we were incredibly poor — we’re talking no running water, no electricity kind of poor.
Poverty was the least of my problems, however.
The most devastating thing to happen to me by far was the horrific abuse I witnessed when my father mercilessly beat my mother. This happened what seemed like several nights a week, and it scarred me for a long time.
I remember my mother begging — just begging — for my father to stop. My brother and I would huddle together in the make-shift bedroom we shared, my fingers shoved so hard into my ears so that I wouldn’t have to hear my mother pleading.
But I always heard.
It’s no wonder I went into adulthood being a completely broken and angry person. My first marriage ended because the chaos was just too much, and I went into a second marriage with the same toxic patterning. At least with my second husband he put his foot down and told me: ENOUGH. He explained he’d never known such an angry “rageoholic” and that I needed to get help.
He was right.
From there it was a long line of therapists, doctors, and others who I hoped could help fix what was so terribly wrong inside of me. Some of them did help me, but in the end the only thing that truly liberated me was my own understanding of how Spirit and energy works.
Fast forward all these years and wow, I am so different now!
These days, I hate confrontation. If you want to be mad and yell at me, hey have at it, but you can do that all by yourself. I won’t be arguing with you, or letting myself go. I know my limits. I know when my inner “Dennis” (this was my father’s name) is being provoked — and I know how to stop that right in its tracks.
Yes, these days I’m conscious of my impact on just about everything. Animals. My garden. Traffic. Trees. People in the coffee shop. My family.
I think about how well I am loving or blessing absolutely everything I experience. I care that I treat all things with the love that I would like to receive myself.
I am no longer a victim. I didn’t let the awful things I witnessed and integrated as a child make me an abuser or a victim. I fixed the problem by fixing my own energy, and in this video I teach you how YOU can do that, too.
This is a powerful message, and if you know someone who needs to hear it, I encourage you to share.
(I’d like to say, also, that this isn’t only about abuse. If you find yourself perpetually attracting the same negative things into your life — be very clear that it’s because of your ENERGY. Which means today’s lesson applies to you, too.)