There are things we tell ourselves about ourselves that are wholly untrue. Many of us even know it as we do it; we know we are not ugly yet we say we are. We know we are not stupid but we say we are. We know we are valuable but we say we are not. Why do we do this?

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. — Proverbs 23:7

The reality is that we are the creators of our own experience. If you feel unloved it is essentially because you believe, on some level, that you are unlovable. This is a lie: we are all exactly where we are supposed to be, as we are supposed to be, in each and every moment. This is not a statement to absolve us from our bad behavior or transgressions — it is a statement encouraging us to live to our full potential in each moment. We can only do this if we affirm this potential in the first place.

We cause our own misery. We are alone because there is a piece of us somewhere that believes we ought to be. We are victims because somewhere deep down we believe that being a victim is what we deserve, or want.

Stop it. You really can just … stop it. Change the things you allow your brain to think about yourself. When you notice a negative or judgmental thought — just stop it. Stop it and then supplant it with a positive, affirming thought. Have one or several at the ready, like mantras, and say them often. Do this as a spiritual discipline. Do it until you see for yourself how your life can transform if you only change how you think and speak. Because it will.

You can have joy instead of misery, love instead of pain. You can create exactly what it is you want by first seeing it within yourself.